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Suddenly Single, Teenagers at Home and Unemployed


Separating is Hard Enough!

Suddenly single, on the path to being divorced, teenage children and unemployed is not what we dream of. 

A marriage or relationship separation after decades is hard, having teenagers in private school and no job prospects compounds the problem.

Amanda was in her 50’s. The joint decision that she would be a-stay-at- home parent and take care of the household sounded perfect. Her husband would continue on with his career, they would take annual holidays overseas, a big new house, life was amazing.

Fast forward twenty years and the wheels fell off.

Devastated and unsure of her future, Amanda heard through a friend that she knew someone that could help and guide Amanda and get her through the whole mess. That someone was Ms. Property Melbourne.

Amanda was very concerned about the impact on her children. Their lives would have to change in a big way. Would they be able to stay at their private school, could they stay in their familiar neighbourhood with all their friends?

She was fully aware that her job prospects were dim. Twenty years is a long time to be out of the workforce. When she had left work the internet was relatively new, technology certainly wasn’t what it is today.

If they had to sell the family home then where would they go?  Amanda would be an unlikely candidate for a mortgage and with a few investment properties that were all heavily mortgaged left them without a great deal of equity.

Amanda is a highly intelligent woman. She loved her husband and the life they had together. She never thought it would all come to an end so she was totally unprepared.

Coping with her personal devastation, concerned about her kids, housing and a job things certainly appeared grim.

What to Do, Where to Go for Help.

Suddenly ‘separation and divorce’ were words you were hearing about your life, teenagers relying on you for stability in their world gone crazy and money is no longer guaranteed. 

Contacting Carol was a call for help. Amanda could cope with one of those events but it all seemed to snowball and she didn’t know which way to turn first. Family loyalties were divided, animosity abounded and the variety of advice was unhelpful. She needed a path, one step at a time. Suggestions to just go and get a job increased her frustration. There were things she needed to do first – recovering from heartbreak doesn’t happen overnight.

In the stages of grief there is a pattern and moving between stages when you have so many problems means one step forward and three back.

Meeting Carol, unrelated to all the drama, gave assurances and an ear that would listen, hear and keep her confidence.  

Carols connections led to an independent lawyer as Step 1. Getting the right legal advice is important.

Then piece by piece, gradually so as not to overwhelm, working through the components to prepare the family home for sale, work out a strategy for a home of her own with the teenagers, employ a selling agent and not rush or emotionalise created a relatively smooth path.

Knowing each step and knowing that someone is there to walk beside you, guiding you is a huge relief.

To the end of the journey, looking forward to a new life where she has choice and feeling much stronger and empowered and ready to face the next challenge put in front of her.

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